Monday, May 12, 2008

Ashley Messes with the Psychiatrists

John and I were talking about this one about a week ago. It needs to be added, I think! I've since asked her and Mom about it, to make sure I had all of my facts straight.

Our younger sister, Ashley had to undergo brain surgery when she was about 12 years old. She has epilepsy, due to a huge hunk of brain-lining material that grew in between the folds of her brain. They removed a piece of this lining stuff that was about the size of an egg. It was quite the ordeal, at the time, but we did manage, and still do manage to have some fun about it. John made her a tee-shirt a couple of years back (which she loves and wears frequently) that says, in large print, on the front: "I had part of my brain surgically removed..." On the back is says (somewhat smaller) "...just to make it fair!" She has recently made herself a tee-shirt that says "Don't mess with me..." on the front, the back says "...or else I'll give you a piece of my mind!"

When she was in the hospital for pre-surgery monitoring, (They opened up her skull, attached about 200 electrodes to her brain, stitched her back up with 200 or so wires blossoming out of her head, and monitored her brain activity via the electrodes and video of her hospital room for about a week.) Anyway, while she was in the hospital being monitored, the whole family nearly got kicked out one night. We were visiting, and having a good time being silly, and making her laugh, and seeing what we could make the brain-waves on the overhead screen do. It was very interesting, to see what made the lines jump. Anyway, apparently we were being too rowdy, and the nurses had to come in and threaten us.

Back to my original story, at some point while she was in the hospital, for pre-surgery testing, they had her do a whole battery of psychiatric / psychological testing. This was to find out what kinds of things they might potentially mess up during surgery basically. Anyway, she spent two days being questioned by this psychologist (who Mom agreed with Ashley was extremely annoying). She cooperated for about a day and a half. By the second day, she was getting extremely bored / annoyed with the whole process, and she started answering every single question with "Nase boren." (Pardon me if I didn't spell it right. "Nase boren" is German for "Nose picking.") After a while of this, the psychiatrist lady came out and started asking Mom about it (she wasn't allowed in the room for these tests). Mom started giggling. The doctor was seriously going to report her strange behavior, and have her declared as a bit mentally unstable, and possibly medicate her. Mom had to complain rigorously, and threaten legal action, to get it off her record. Oh man, funny stuff!

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Trent and Me-Blockbuster

Then there was the time when Trent was about 12, so I would have been about 29, and he and I wound up going to Blockbuster one night (-to pick up movies, obviously). Naturally I went out of my way to embarrass him at every opportunity. First thing in the door, I shouted:

"OK OK, Trent Sever, I promise we will get Barney for you if they have it!!!"

And so it went from there. Before long, Trent took off running and hid from me.

I took some time to browse the new releases, but I kept one eye out for Trent as well. Pretty soon I spotted him, predictably in the video game section, absorbed in reading the back of some game or other. He was still just short enough that he was almost hidden by the height of the shelves at this particular Blockbuster, so I figured he thought he was completely invisible. Very quietly, crouching all the while, I ninja-ed up on him. I got to where I knew I was within three feet of him. All I had to do was jump out from behind the aisle I was hiding in and yell something humiliating. So I did.

Seizing a game at random, I lunged around the corner, shoved the game in his face and said very loudly : "Here's your Teletubbies!!"

That was when I noticed that it wasn't Trent, just some other random preteen about Trent's height and hair color. He gave me a very weird look. I don't remember exactly what I did next.