Thursday, October 16, 2008

Me and My Hair

My son, Mark said something to the effect that he couldn't understand how it was possible for gum to get stuck in your hair when you were sleeping. "Wouldn't it just fall down to your belly?" he asked. I think he must have been thinking of how gravity works when you are standing up. I assured him that I had plenty of experience with gum stuck in my hair. Here's my best gum in my hair story:

I was about Jr. High age at the time. I fell asleep with the world's largest wad of Hubba-Bubba bubble gum in my mouth. For some reason, there were either no sheets on my bed that night, or they had just come undone at the top of my bed. I must have rolled around and got the stuff glued to every single follicle of hair or something, because when I woke up, my head was absolutely stuck tight to my mattress. I could not get out of bed, no matter how hard I tried. I remember laying there in bed for literally about a half an hour hollering for my mom, whose bedroom was a floor down from mine, and who was evidently still asleep. I don't remember precisely how long it took her to get me unstuck. Then we had to get that huge mess out of my hair. I was having nothing to do with scissors. We must have used a whole tub of shortening on my head. I was very late to school that day. I wonder what I told the secretary when I went in for a late pass. Did I tell her the truth? I don't remember, but I bet I made up a dumb lie. I was probably too embarrassed, plus she might not have believed the truth.

Now fast-forward about five or six years. I had just finished my first year of college, and was working in an office. I had hair halfway down my back. My parents had left for a couple of weeks to visit family in Utah. I was the only person left at home, and relishing my independence. Unfortunately, that would be just the time I chose to accidentally lock my keys in my car. No one was home to bail me out, and my house was also locked. I eventually got that sorted out and headed off for work an hour late. After I'd been there for an hour or two, I was getting ready to send a fax somewhere. I was bending over the table next to the fax machine, writing out a cover letter. Unbeknownst to me, my hair had fallen into the fax's tray. Thinking my hair was a piece of paper, the machine self activated and started rolling my hair up inside it. It was like in the movies where the guy gets his tie stuck in something, only it was my hair. Down I went, as the machine kept on rolling my hair up. I couldn't get it to stop; I got sucked in to my ear. My co-workers thought I was just joking around at first, and laughed. They ended up having to unplug the machine and open it up to get my hair out. At the height of all the excitement, our boss came in the room. He nearly had kittens! I don't think I was his favorite employee that day.

4 comments:

timpani76 said...

Alisha has a funny story from when she had hair down to her hips. She walked past some guy with his jacket open on her way to class at SIUE, and her hair got caught on the zipper. He dragged her halfway to the SIUE parking lot with her squawking the whole way before he noticed.

I have curly hair, whole other set of problems. Ever bring have bugs get caught in your hair and can't find their way out until you are back inside and it falls on your desk. That was so humiliating to me in the 4th grade!

Plus, I break hair brushes, and hair clips, and barrettes, and anything else that dares to try to hold or manage my hair.

Renae said...

Ha Ha Ha! How could you drag someone along without noticing?

Anonymous said...

That sounds very like Alisha! I can't just see her squawking not quite enough to get noticed!

J

Bruce said...

i did it only once and had to get it cut out. i had an almos bald patch on the side of my head for a while.